Questions with simple and not so simple answers:
Am I a finished product?
Is anyone ever a finished product?
I am writing not to update an online audience but I know this is for selfish reasons entirely and while the thought is uncomfortable, there is no use in denying it.
I suppose I’m writing to update the audience within my head. I huff at the thought.
This is my way of saying this is where I am.
So…this is where I am.
I am in my final semester of my Junior year in university. I know that when I look back at this, I’ll laugh or smile or feel this scrambled mushy twinge in my stomach and heart alike much like I have done browsing old posts today.
I student teach and recently I did something that I would tell you was impossible if you were to ask me years ago.
I went to a modeling audition on a whim.
Very shallow, right.
The feeling of being objectified out of choice is something I could never really explain to anyone in sense.
And I passed through the audition. And I got a callback.
And I passed through that.
So, I am a student teacher who models some and I guess that’s interesting.
Modeling is not a passion but something that I use to prove something to myself.
Does that make sense?
Oh, and I passed all of my teaching exams and I talked with one of my old professors about the possibility of teaching abroad so there’s that.
I feel that the Universe and I have an understanding. Not that it is especially kind or finicky, but just is and I understand.
I understand that when you truly are meant to
that it will be
and when things happen, they are meant to.
I understand that sadness is not sin and anger is not sin and love is
I have never loved but I have. I think a lot of people feel this.
Anyway, I’ll attempt to write more here because it feels good.
Also, I should post previous writings I’ve done that I haven’t shown.