If I Were On the Phone With You At This Very Moment


I feel as if my mind holds so much thought that the filters of writing and singing and talking and other human ways of communication cannot sustain the bombardment.
I feel lonely in this continuous rushing stream of life, swimming the wrong way.
Some are lucky enough to have boats.
Some have sails.
Some have those engines that perch on the ends of boats.
Some have lone canoes.
Some are missing a floatee.
I miss certain people.
I mostly miss certain moments in time with them.
I miss the phone calls that never ended.
I miss the guitar.
I miss the multitasking while cooking.
I miss the journal.
Sometimes I regret letting go of certain people, but then I have to remember not to regret.
I wonder if regret is a sin.
It should be.
The pain of remembering what has happened and having no power to reverse it is just as painful as the actual event.
Somber somber somber.
The good thing is that I do feel like I have much more to do.
More things to see.
More places to be.
But there’s only so many places.
And when the places start running dry.
And the adventures come to an end.
What’s left?
Me.
I’ll eventually have to deal with myself.
Eventually.
It’s all so silly, really.
It’s all about love.
Peel away everything and at the root of it all, we all wonder if we caught the eye of that one guy in that one store or if our ex-somethings were to run into us would they still deem us fuckable.
We all need to feel wanted.
We all want to be wanted.
We all strive towards something whether good or bad for it is the human condition.
Who can sit and be idle?
I treasure the days I laugh and play and carry on any way.
I am a bird in a tutu.
Goodnight or good morning or good something.
Let me fetch the moon and stars then we can both go far, far away.
Yours always,
d.h.

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